


To kill, to die, to live

by Anonymous



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Knives, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Shu reaches a point.(A short vent fic. Not as scary as the tags imply)
Relationships: Ujigawa Shu & Karasuma Reiji
Kudos: 21
Collections: Anonymous





	To kill, to die, to live

"Hey, Reiji."

He looks up. "Yes, Shu?"

Shu doesn't meet his eyes. "Get me a knife."

Reiji remains seated for a full five seconds before answering. "I will not do that."

He clenches his fists. "Get me a fucking knife. Now."

Reiji stands now, and walks over to Shu. He stands directly in front of him, forcing Shu to either stare at his chest or turn away. He chooses the former, glaring at the intricate pattern of Reiji's dress shirt as he digs his nails into his palms.

Neither of them say anything. Shu's command and Reiji's refusal were both eternal, and so they did not need to be reiterated again.

Reiji slowly, slowly slowly slowly, reaches out and takes one of Shu's hands. His grip on himself loosens, prompting Reiji to take the other. He folds Shu's hands over each other, covering them with his own.

Shu furrows his brow and finally looks up at him. There's a shocking gentleness to his gaze, almost as if he cares about Shu. Deciding that idea to be too uncomfortable (unwarranted, unworthy, undeserving) Shu pulls his hands free and steps away.

"Whatever. I'm going to my room."

Reiji misses a beat before replying. "Let me know if you need anything."

He won't. He'll go to his bed and cry, and he'll need someone to hear him, but he stifles it into his pillow, desperate to smother what he doesn't understand. He'll want a knife, and he is not even certain what he plans to do with it other than to destroy something for the sake of his anger, but he won't get the knife and he'll remain intact for another day. He'll curse his body and his kin and wish he were anyone else. 

At the end of the day, he's alive. At the end of the day, there's no one he loves more than himself, but that isn't saying much when he doesn't mind ruining any life that comes his way. At the end of the day, there's another day ahead, and he doesn't know how to face it, or if tomorrow is attainable. 

To kill, to die, to live-- he always chooses the last one, but the choice hardly feels deliberate these days.

**Author's Note:**

> I normally don't post these little things I write for myself, but I like how this one came out so I figured I'd share!
> 
> Posting from mobile so there might be some errors lol


End file.
